#my emotions go by so fast that they dont feel real either

[toothfa-1-ry]

WON'T YOU HOLD ME, CONSOLE ME ?

You don't expect your boyfriend to hold you or console you when you find out your pregnant, but you also didnt expect him to leave you without a trace either

Has no correlation to the other preg!reader fic i posted !!

GENRE: angst

PAIRING: Choi su-bong x preg!reader

"Fuck" thanos groans with his head thrown back, his hands covering his face while he steps away from you

Your hold around your stomach tightens as you don't look up, keeping your gaze at the ground

"I thought you were on that shitty pill?" Thanos glanced at you before letting out a prolonged sigh

"You know that it doesn't mean a hundred percent protection" you argue, eyebrows furrowing slightly "it's not my fault! You were the one who-"

"I know geez!"

"Then why are you getting so agitated!"

"Because" thanos spluttered "because this is a kid we're talking about"

You pause, not being able to think of anything to say back, instead retreating your eyes back at your stomach

"And it's my fucking kid. Mine" thanos points at himself in the chest

"Is that why your mad?" You hate the way your voice trembles "because it's your kid and not some random bastards on the street?"

"Watch your mouth" thanos snarls "you know it's not like that, do you want me to say that it is?"

"Ah fuck" your voice a few ratios higher than it usually was, you could feel the lump in your throat forming

Thanos sighs again, his eyes softening as he glances your face and your stomach

"Aish your fucking kidding me man, your the one who started arguing first" he grumbles annoyed, but approaches you with his arms open anyways

You push against his hold at first, anger still flaring inside of you but you end up giving in pretty fast, so desperately wanting to be held

"Are the pregnancy symptoms already kicking in?" Thanos asked while pulling your head to rest in his shoulders "what a pain" muttering under his breath

"You asshole" you sob while your hands ball into a fist

"Hey your carrying the asshole's kid, i don't think your one to speak" thanos adds in quickly, frowning "Don't make this harder than it already is"

Despite Thanos holding you in his arms, you hit him with your balled fist, your face streaming with tears

"Hey stop" thanos frowns "stop before I seriously get mad" he grips your hand "im not mad right now, but if you don't stop i will"

You sniffle softly, your head laying on his chest as his eyebrows are still furrowed with concern over the recent news of your pregnancy

"What are we gonna do?" You ask amidst sniffles

Thanos allows you to lean against him, staring at the wall of the cramped room the both of you lived in

"I dont know" he mutters "we could go to the hospital? Try for a..." his voice trails off. You knew what he was referring to

This just makes your sniffles louden even more causing him to inwardly groan, he never knew how to handle emotions as such, most of the time just shutting up and holding you or something along that line but that didn't seem to be the brightest thing to do and even Thanos knew that

"Su-bong" you whisper, your hands snaking around his waist, pressing yourself closer towards him as if to shield yourself

Thanos winces softly when he hears you call his real name, he always winces when he hears his real name.

He let's out a rough grunt of acknowledgement "What?"

"I don't think I want a abortion"

"Well fuck baby, we can't afford it either way. It was stupid of me to suggest" he lazily responds, while resting his face above your head

"We can't afford to raise it too" you murmer causing Thanos to shift uncomfortably

"I know" he snorts "fuck"

"So what will we do?"

Thanos hears the imploring tone of your voice. Most of the time he was the one asking you that question. In your relationship you were the one who took on the role of the logical one, but here you were, asking Thanos something that you both didn't know the answer to

"I'll-" thanos breathed "I'll figure something out"

You look up at him, moving your face away from his chest, your eyes pleading

"You sure you want the kid?" You ask him

"Your already pregnant anyways, i can't do anything about it"

"This isn't a joke" you retort loudly

"Your the one who said you don't want an abortion!" Thanos also raises his voice

"We can't afford it anyways you idiot!"

"Well damn, it's like i didn't just fucking say that like 5 seconds ago" he thundered which immediately cause you to tear up again

Thanos tilts his head down, pressing his lips into a tight straight line, regretting his actions almost immediately

"Hey" his voice rough and deep as he called out to you "look at me"

He purses his lips when he sees you still refusing to face him, your hands hiding your face

"Hey" he says more softly as he moves your hand away from your face "im sorry okay, cmon just look at me"

Thanos leans his head against yours while he clasps his hand around yours

"I'll figure something out" he raspily breathed out "I'll get a day job, fuck it baby, I'll get 2 day jobs"

You had no strength to talk back, choosing to silently nod

Thanos kisses your forehead while he wipes your tears away

"I said I'll figure something out, so stop your damn crying okay?" He says playfully, in an attempt to stop you from crying

You nodd slowly, causing him to smile tightly

he kneels down, facing your stomach "im sure the baby wouldn't want to hear his mom cry huh?" He announces as if though he was talking to the baby

He looks up to your face to see your face, trying to make you laugh or smile or anything at all

"You better not be a shit ass kid" thanos pokes your stomach softly "cause of you, your mom's hormones are going wild already"

"Asshole" you breathed with a laugh "im crying cause of you, fucking prick"

Thanos grins as he looks up to you, standing up he grabs your hand

"I swear" he picks your hands up, placing a soft kiss "ill figure something out for the three of us"

₊˚｡⋆❆⋆｡˚₊

Finding a job was hard

Especially as a retired rapper who basically got fucking conned by some asshole on the internet

Fucking bitch

Thanos stays up awake, leaning against the wall of the trashy one room so called apartment that you both lived in.

He inhales his cyan blue vape while eyeing the cigarette burn marks that painted the wall

His head thuds against the dirty peeling wallpaper, while you layed asleep on the floor across him, only a thin blanket covering your body

A soft smile graces his features when he notices the slight swell of your stomach

That's his kid right there, that's the mother of his child right there

Thanos couldn't afford to marry your right now, he wishes he could.

Fucking hell, he couldn't even afford a shitty ring let alone a ring that you actually deserved, he'd marry you with a plastic bottle seal if he could but he knew that you deserved more,

Damn, you deserve so much better than him, so much more than what he could give you

The kid in your stomach deserved better too. His kid

Thanos's smile fades away, leaving behind a grimace when he notices that the blanket doesn't fully cover your body, noticing the colour far beyond faded and the material already thinning out

He immediately unzips his jacket, going forward to place it above your body. It was the least that he could do

Suddenly, a piece of paper falls out of the pocket, he notices it as the card from the strange man earlier

Just thinking about it pissed him off, he recieved more slaps than money

Holding the card in his hand, he turns it over, mouthing the number behind the card, he swallows nervously unlike him while contemplating whether it was worth calling

Slowly typing in the digits in his phone he places his device on his ear, holding his breath as the phone rings

Once, twice, the phone continues to ring, thrice, now going four times

Thanos sighs, bringing the phone down, ready to press cancel when suddenly

"In order to sign up to play the game, please submit your name and date of birth"

Thanos breathes sharply, his finger wavering above the cancel button while your sleeping figure which remained unaware of what raced through your boyfriend's head

"Fuck" thanos curses, he glances at you

Thanos's hands trembled as he filled in his details, his pupils dilated, his mouth dried.

He knew what you'd say if you were awake, scolding him for being so naive and believing but you didn't meet that strange man in the grey suit did you?

He bites his lips when he reads the address and time of where he was suppose to go, noticing that the last date of entering the so called games was the current date

"I wont be gone for long" he mutters softly as he stands up, placing a kiss on your cheek before heading towards the door

He puts his old shoes on, the only branded ones he had left from back in his rapper days, the one who had picked for him, the only pair he didn't sell

He slips outside quietly, before sparring you one last glance

"Wait for me, just for a little bit" he whispered with a faint smile though it didnt quite didn't reach his eyes

He glances from your face to your stomach "your dad will be back with shit ton of money, i'll make sure you both live well"

He pauses before closing the door, contemplating for a minute, it felt so wrong to leave just like that,

He didn't want to go, it felt like the wrong thing to do but he steps out of the house anyway

"Take care of your mom when I'm gone"

₊˚｡⋆❆⋆｡˚₊

The next morning, you wake up warmer than you usually do, but you can't ignore the ever so persistent pounding of your heart

Your heart feels heavier than usual too

Noticing your boyfriend's jacket wrapped around you, you slowly wake up, looking for him

You look for him for the entire day,

it soon turns into 2 days and 2 days soon turn into 2 weeks

The bruise you recieved earlier that day after being chased down the street by some debt collectors begun to sting.

They didn't care whether you were pregnant or not, they just wanted the money you had borrowed from them back

And then that's when it hits you

When your standing on top cold floor of, with only your boyfriend's jacket left as a reminder of him,

He left.

He left without saying anything, without leaving even a single trace, he left not even with a single goodbye

He left you.

Your hand trails to your stomach.

He left the both of you

You sink down, legs giving out as your body trembles, you lie on the wilting cot that served as a place of comfort, sobbing, shrieking, crying his name out

Screaming anything that would have send him running towards you,

But no one comes.

Unbeknownst to you, at the very same time you fall on the ground, thanos's cold body is lifted up from the cold bathroom floor and packed into black coloured coffin

His eyes still wide open, his entire body covered in his own blood

When the guards strip his clothes away, they find something in his pocket

A plastic ring

it couldn't have been worth much, maybe from a kids toy, it left the guards puzzled

What would a person like Thanos be doing with a plastic ring in his pocket?

Perhaps you would understand it better

After all, he held you, consoled you. That prick even left you without a single trace

[turnin9pag3]

sigh.

i think im a james potter kinnie in the most shameful way possible because yes i relate to being social and having lots of friends but more than that i relate to feeling like you’re constantly doing either too much or not enough and people lose interest in me and i feel like shit because what did i fuck up but then i go and loose interest when i know its not that persons fault i just cant help myself but to hate everyone because i hate myself. and like james im too loud all the time so much so that when i finally decide to be quiet i have people shoving their concerns down my throat and i dont know how to appreciate it when all i want is to be left alone. lately ive been feeling like there something misplaced in me because all i want is to spend my last week of school with my friends and be happy and enjoy my time but all i can think about is i dont want to be here and i dont want to be touched and i dont want to see these people because these people keep talking and my head hurts and my eyes hurt and im feeling dizzy and none of this looks real anymore and im not sure what to do with myself anymore. and i would hate to hurt their feelings because its truly not their fault but like i said theres something wrong with me. i think im just a rotten soul and im fucked up in way unknown to most. as james would, i feel judged after everything i say and i feel ridiculed for every decision i make and i feel like they dont want to listen to me at all they just keep me around to have someone for themselves and a part of me knows thats not true but the larger part of me wont let me fully believe that. and i feel like james in the way i dont know how to do anything casually and i love with my entire soul but i hate with my entire soul too and when im in something im fully in. and its such a fault to have because i like people more than people like me all i just end up hurting myself because as much as i tell myself im not i think i still like that one guy from august and my miss my best friend when i cant call her that anymore and the girl ive known since 2nd grade is barley answering my texts and summer is coming i feel like everyone is going to forget about me and what if i forget about everyone and i dont want to be forgotten. and i feel like james because i feel overbearing when i ask to hang out with people and annoying. and i feel like im being made fun of every time i speak and i have to pretend that it doesnt bother me but it does. and im like james because all i want is someone to talk to and thatll listen to me but i know how hard it is to stay attentive when i talk because i talk so much about stuff no one cares about and i try to hide it but it hurts more than id like to admit because everyone cares about what they have to say and i sit and i listen but when i talk they leave the room or change the topic or turn up the music or outright tell me they dont care. joke or not it hurts. like james i spent most of my childhood being told im too loud or too intense or talk too much or too chaotic or too dramatic or talk too fast and like james i think no matter how much confidence i fein in my teen years ill never grow away from the 6 year old girl that everyone called a psycho because she had emotions too big that she didnt know how to deal with yet and they wernt her fault. it wasnt her fault she got her dads anger issues and tendencies to scream or her mothers ability to feel everything twice as strong as she should. and now im 15 and its still not my fault but ive suppressed it so far im not 100% sure how to feel that deeply anymore.

[the-heron]

Putting on my sunglasses again wow hello another anon about Ghosted (2011)

Care to share your thoughts about what happens after the final scene like wow how do these characters spend the remainder of their sentences after such dramatic events. one really does have to wonder *points the microphone in your direction*

ok putting on my spoilers hat again but im not putting it under a cut. if you feel like watching ghosted then dont read this post. if you dont feel like watching ghosted then feel free to listen to my rambling madness

anyways i think that after the final events of the film where jack and paul """reconcile""" and it cuts off i think they do truly reconcile afterward. i dont think theres a bone in either of their bodies that is not enraged beyond belief over what the other has done to them but theres also no bone thats not wracked with guilt for what theyve done to the other in return. very deeply, they believe they owe each other. although it was jacks own fault for getting put in prison, i think paul very much does feel solely responsible for having ruined his whole family. (something something do we remember jacks "what do you know about it? what its like? to take someone's life and know that youve ruined so many others?" that he spat at clay.. i think paul knows very intimately) and he feels he owes jack what he can never give him. he owes him a son, for one thing. indirectly, he owes him a wife. he owes him a happy family he couldnt return to after doing so much time for a mistake that ended in the loss of a life and although it was pauls own fault for getting put in prison, for what its worth, what else did he have going for him? he had no stable family and no consistent friendships and paul was essentially forced to grow up impossibly fast and skip out on all the nice parts of growing up. having people who loved him. who wanted to take care of him. who knew him and who he didnt have to lie to. at the end of the day yes paul did it and it hurts jack more than he could ever tell him but hes so young... jacks already gotten his payback. god hes probably responsible for so much physical and mental damage and weeks upon weeks upon weeks of physical therapy that will get paul to a place that is funtional but nowhere near as capable as he was before. paul ruined his life but hes ruined pauls, too. in a way he owes it to him to take care of him for that. he owes paul some semblance of stability. and for jacks own sake, he needs to keep an eye on him and make sure he doesnt ruin anybody elses lives. to make sure nobody else hurts him.

in a nutshell i do think they stick very close together after their altercation. for the remainder of their sentences and to an extent once they get out, too. who else do they have, now? neither of them have anybody they want to see outside waiting for them. they have destroyed each others whole lives and they need to keep each other as close as possible because of it. theres no moving on from this whatsoever with what they know of each other and how theyve already bonded in the three months they were together. what can they do but stay that way? they will collect what they are owed from each other one way or another

... also this is only partially related but i do believe that for the entirety of jacks time in solitary confinement, he didnt know that paul was alive. he was fully convinced that he'd killed paul and was able to come to terms with that. i think it just adds a good layer of emotion on top of everything to think that hes only informed that pauls been asking for him, tha tpaul is alive, after hes let back in with the rest of the wing. he didnt prepare himself for this outcome and, as depicted in the scene, looks to donner in disbelief and then starts to cry before he even sits down next to paul. i think it would be good. i think it would hurt him real bad

[boba-tea-addict-1004]

🔥Coming out to Rengoku as Asexual🔥

Asexual Reader x Rengoku Kyojuro

A/N: I wanted to make this for the final day of Asexual awareness week 2023

To all my fellow A-spec people you are loved and worthy 🖤🤍💜

⚠TW: Minor Sexual themes (nothing graphic and has to do with the last trigger), Internal Aphobia and Allo Passing⚠

You and Kyojuro were close... so close... everyone expected you two to get married. you and Kyojuro tried to shake it off, but you just couldn't. the both of you ended up getting into courtship, but it was mainly just you trying to get the others off your back and to an extent maybe it was to give them what they wanted.

you were different.

you couldn't really relate to Mitsuri or Tengan when they brought up the topic of attraction and sex. hell, there was a part of you that felt minorly repulsed by it. when you told them a few times that you weren't into it they sort of made a face. one of confusion. from that point on you felt isolated, not only that you just felt like you weren't meeting whatever criteria there was for what was considered 'basic human emotions'

maybe that's one reason why you chose kyojuro as your guineapig. he never pushed that on you and just respected whatever boundaries you gave him.. the idea of kissing him alone wasn't terrible.

you talked about it with him and you though maybe you should just rip off the band-aid and be done with it. but when the time came you just backed out swiftly. before either of you did anything you just put your clothes back on and went back to your estate.

Kyo didn't mind he just was more concerned about you.

you kept a certain distance in your time together since you two became official..

he didn't want to lose you...

***

"Y/n.." Kyojuro knocked. you been inside for over a week and every other time a hashira has come to see you they were met with cold dead silence. "Y/n.. can we talk... please.." right when kyo was about to leave on the other side of the door you responded

"your- not mad.."

"Why would i be mad?"

"..i mean.. about.. the other day.."

"oh... no not at all" he assured "I'm just more worried about you.."

"..."

"may i come in?"

you open the door, your face stained with tears and your uniform was wrinkled. as he stepped inside he saw there was dust starting to build up. "if.. if we're moving to fast i could-"

"kyo... i'm sorry... but... i dont want to keep going with this.."

"y/n?.." he sat down at the table.

the moment you sat down in front of him you sighed "something.. is... wrong.. with me.."

he listened letting you go on

"i don't know how to explain it but... i don't feel the things that mitsuri and Tengan describe. none of the other's feel this way so there has to be something i'm missing. i thought that if i spent enough time with you i'd feel those things eventually but i cant... people tell me i just need to wait for the right person to come along but... i waited my entire life and .... nothing." you sigh "i'm broken...."

Kyo was stunned. not that you couldn't feel that type of attraction but that you tried to keep all this in and even force yourself to do things simply because that's what was expected. it hurt him to see you like this..

"what if.. there is no right person..." you clench your fist and look down "what if... I'm alone forever..."

he quickly goes to your side and hugs you "no.. no your not broken..." he continued to hold you close and stroke your hair. "human.. we never are whole by anything.. money.. fame.. power.. so something like that couldn't make you whole to begin with... how can you be broken if something like intimacy couldn't even make uzui or mitsuri whole to begin with"

you look into his eyes and saw nothing but pure honesty

"and you will never be alone.. not ever.. not if you have me and are surrounded by people who will love and respect you the way you are."

you smile wiping a few tears "kyo.."

he pats your head "you are perfect the way you are... and anyone who cares enough to know the real you will see that"

you chuckle then after a bit think "...hey... want to try again. i know it's not 'traditional' but ... could we be together still... without any of the romance or ... sex?"

kyo nodded "that's okay... if I'm honest i personally liked us better as friends anyway"

"Really?"

he nods "so... does that mean we're... super best friends or something?"

"I'm not sure... we can work out the details later"

he smiled ruffling your hair

***

In weeks since you and Kyo told the others, about your feelings and shinobu actually has a name for it now. Asexual or Asexuality (derived from the scientific word of reproduction not involving the fusion of gametes.) although this was something that was new, you liked the way you felt after that, everyone understood and respected that. as for you a Kyo.. you were platonic soulmates till the end..

you never needed that to feel whole..

what made you feel whole in the end.. was true connection and understanding

Everything was fine after that and there were no missions involving trains after that...

[skzoologist]

Okay so similarly to that ask you got, the chan comfort one, what about some miho, like you said they dont seek eachother out, but they can often be seen together (I think thats what you wrote..?)

So what about some Minho/Bae moments, comfort either way would work! (Minho being comforted by or comforting Bae, don't matter to me! 😌)

word count: ~1.1k

warnings: none

genre: fluff, comfort

a/n: Hey-ho anon dear, you're right, these two are like sassy cats, you'll see what I mean haha. None of them are the 'let us talk about this problem' kinda person, which doesn't really help with the whole situation 😅 Either way, they still find ways to rely on the other, so I hope you'll enjoy this!

Please let me know if I left a warning or anything out, I will add it in! Reblogs, likes and feedback are greatly appreciated!

!I don't condone anyone stealing my work and posting it anywhere without my permission, or feeding it to AI!

!This is just fiction, my interpretation of Stray Kids. By no means is this how they are and how they behave in real life!

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‧˚₊꒷꒦︶︶︶︶︶꒷꒦︶︶︶︶︶꒦꒷‧₊˚⊹‧˚₊꒷꒦︶︶︶︶︶꒷꒦︶︶︶︶︶꒦꒷‧₊˚⊹

It was a regular day for the worldwide known idol group, every member busy with their individual schedules, their day fully packed with different interviews, practices and photoshoots. Bae was no different, having just set foot back in the company building, his previous appointment having required him to go to a different location to be used as a background for his photoshoot. The shooting had a more natural, gentle theme, all the clothes Bae had worn woven with pastel coloured silk and cotton, wonderfully complementing his long hair, the dark strands left freely flowing in the soft breeze.

Through busy hallways he went, slipping free from a packed elevator efficiently, having mastered the art long ago, despite his ridiculous height.

The moment he had stepped foot into the practice room he knew something was amiss, the air shifting around differently, compared to its usual, cheery self.

Two pairs of eyes met with each other, one searching the other carefully, not wishing to accidentally set off a landmine and cause irreversible destruction. Yet, the taller dancer had no time to fully worry about that, his hyung looking away much too fast, not even slowly blinking at him in his usual, silent greeting.

That was the first red flag Bae had noticed, something that settled heavily in his stomach.

The younger took his bag and hoodie off, already fully changed into some loose clothing he could freely dance in long before having arrived at the company. Although, he had to say, even after so many years, he still couldn’t get used to changing in the car hastily, usually not having enough time in his tightly packed schedule to do so in a proper locker room or even a restroom.

Minho silently waited for the otter to be done, eyes watching him through the mirror like a hawk, something sharp in the older’s gaze that usually didn’t reside there. It caused a slight crease to nestle itself into Bae’s forehead, its presence uncomfortable.

Still, Bae pushed through the feeling, opting to instead keep a watchful eye on the older as they started practising an older choreography of theirs.

As the day went by, so did Minho’s patience thin, the man clearly frustrated over something, bottling the emotion up and letting it simmer inside, only to inevitably blow up in everyone’s faces like a devastating bomb.

Bae wasn’t blind, he had noticed the little signs. How his hyung’s moves were more forceful than usual, how his lips dipped down just a tad bit further into a barely noticeable scowl, or how he kept carding a hand through his hair, the strands on the verge of falling out from the repetitive, forceful motion. The younger noticed these easily, having carved everyone’s habits into his very soul. 

The two idols were similar when it came to things like this, never seeking help on their own. Which was also the exact reason Bae knew, he knew Minho wouldn’t just open up to him or to anyone, the man too stubborn for his own good.

A reason that created an interesting dynamic between the dancers, as if they were two temperamental cats, only going to the other on their own terms, allowing the other to catch little glimpses of vulnerability only occasionally. It was a never ending cat and mouse game, only, sitting down and never chasing that mouse being the sole winning condition of this infuriating game.

And so, Bae waited patiently, staying by his huffing hyung’s side silently, even as the man’s aura screamed pure violence and murder, scaring everyone else away and rightfully so. Nobody doubted that Minho could end someone’s life with a single spoon alone, one he was eating his beloved pudding with.

Time crept by as the two just sat there on the sofa, a space left between them that would be considered much too wide on any other day. A stupid little show was put on the TV, a mere background noise no doubt, since none gazed at the device securely mounted on the wall. Instead, they were both scrolling on their phones, a rare occasion for the artist, the man quickly using it to check as many fanarts as he could, all created by their beloved STAY.

Shuffling of clothes could be heard, the little ‘thunk’ following it as the now empty plastic container was placed onto the table, its delicious contents already eaten long ago.

A soft touch reached Bae’s hand, a limb he had purposefully left resting on the pillows closer to his hyung, not fully tucked into his side.

By the time he had locked and put away his phone -not like he had been actually paying attention to it the last 5 minutes-, another hand had snaked itself into his, a head heavily falling onto his lap. That same, clutched hand of his was led to a nest of fluffy hair, no request needed to be gently buried there, drawing little symbols into the skin.

Bae could feel the tension leaving Minho’s body, those hunched shoulders sagging, taut muscles resting at last. A barely audible sigh could be heard, but the younger knew better than to comment on it, letting it silently disappear in the peaceful silence enveloping the two.

With every stroke and every gentle scratch the other melted more and more into him, practically turning into putty in his hands. Not a single word was exchanged, the serene atmosphere never broken, only enhanced by the quiet, satisfied hums that occasionally left the older’s mouth.

The moon was high up in the sky by the time Bae had finally fallen asleep, Minho curled up by his side, head still comfortably laying on his dongsaeng’s thigh. When Chan had noticed this scene, having come back from another long session of songwriting, a smile so soft sat onto his face that it seemed unreal. He gazed at his dear members, his family, for a few more minutes before grabbing a blanket from his room, covering the two as much as he could. The cat stirred, making the wolf still in his place, earning a relieved sigh once he had settled back and started softly snoring once again.

Even the strong needed some time to recuperate, to rest and gather their strength, and Bae felt honoured to grant that for his beloved, cat-like hyung, the one who always cared for him quietly. He would always be by his side, to provide some silent support, no matter what.

[marionettou]

stuff abt me isolatin

i isolate suddenly and for semi long periods of time sometimes bc of emotional exhaustion. its never anyones fault !! its just my brain bein bad !! i have trouble respondin to dms consistently (im typically an on-the-minute responder but burn myself out real fast) n sometimes i spend time on tumblr instead of talkin cuz its easier on my brain (if ya notice an uptick in posts but we havent talked or interacted in a week its prolly cuz im tryna ease my brain back into socializin !! its nothin personal n im not tryna ignore ya !!) i love talkin to new ppl n makin new friends, i also rlly love bein tagged in stuff n appreciate it a whole lot !! if it seems like im ignorin tags or actively avoidin respondin to certain things i promise its nothin against ya. im just tryna give myself time before i interact but it always makes me real happy seein that ppl wanna socialize with me at all !! i cannot make this clear enough: i really do love ppl n i love bein tagged in stuff n i love gettin asks n replies n dms !! i love ppl a lot !! im just REALLY rlly damaged n im still rlly strugglin ta find a way to stop my brain shuttin down like it does !! i still dont know how ta stop or fix it !! this has been an issue since i was a kid n ive lost so many friends n partners bc of it. i understand that my behavior hurts n upsets ppl. im rlly rlly tryna find a way to stop it. however. makin vague posts abt it n bein passive aggressive towards me for it is the #1 way to shut me off talkin to u entirely until i personally feel safe enough to do so. ive had enough ppl do this to me to the point where that In Itself is an isolation trigger. i dont like it either !! im not enjoyin it !! i dont just fuck off n go do smth more fun !! im usually stuck rockin back n forth listenin to music completely unable ta do anythin else. 90% of the time i dont even feed myself while im doin this. its not smth i choose to do. its not smth i can control as much as id like to. again. i LIKE talkin to ppl. someone dmin me doesnt just set me off every time n im not DREADIN the next person who interacts with me. its fun. i get lonely real easy i dont LIKE bein alone. i genuinely dont know how to make this go away. i just need ppl to understand thats ALL i want. if this aint smth that seems ok fer u or would set ya off then i might not be the best person ta get close to ;;

[itsclydebitches]

RWBY: Something that will forever bother me is that I thought they would change their outfits. I dont like v7 outfits too much so wehn I saw they might be on a beach. I thought, 'Cool. Maybe they'll remove some layers of theit WINTER outfits and they might look better.' BUT NO. I thought weiss and blake would lose their jackets, yang gets a ponytail, im not sure about ruby, shes fine ig. But still pretty unhappy. oh well

Yang in a ponytail, my beloved. So near and yet so far 😭

I get that it takes more time, effort, and of course money to create the new models (even overlooking the fact that RT is no longer the struggling startup it once was...) but for me, missing details like that really hinder my sense of immersion. They don't actively take me out of the story, but they don't help me stay tethered to it either, which is much more of a problem when the writing is struggling like RWBY's is.

As I mentioned in another post, I've started Demon Slayer (which is excellent) and little moments with clothing really help the storyworld to feel real. Why doesn't Tanjiro's uniform tear during all those intense battles? Oh look, here's a scene with his mentor explaining precisely how that's possible. Why doesn't Inosuke's mask fall off? It does after a particularly vicious headbutt, finally revealing his face. Here two of the characters are removing their outer layers to give someone a pillow and blanket. Here they are changing into a new set of clothes while their uniforms are washed. Zenitsu hangs onto others' robes when he's particularly scared, pulling them askew. Inosuke wears or doesn't wear a shirt depending on the situation. People comment on the bamboo in Nezuko's mouth. Tanjiro's earrings are slowly being revealed as significant... Clothing is a part of the characters and the story actually treats it as such.

In contrast, RWBY has lost almost all of that work despite starting out as a series built around the thematic significance of outfit colors. Not even their weapons, tools through which the ENTIRE conflict is built around, are given any true acknowledgement anymore, not when Weiss finds hers in a heartbeat offscreen, getting Blake's back becomes fodder for jokes, Ruby shows no inclination to get Crescent Rose back (with, more significantly, her teammates ignoring that uncharacteristic passivity), and Jaune apparently has never tried to mend his sword. Only stealing Yang's arm is even somewhat significant and likewise treated in a jokey, ultimately-unimportant-to-her-development manner.

Now take into consideration everything they DON'T do, including reacting to the tropical nature of the Ever After. Give me scenes where Yang puts up her hair, Blake takes her stockings off, Ruby tears the sleeves off her shirt, Weiss cuts her skirt to make it shorter, and she and Yang both loose their jackets because holy shit it's hot here. Also we're literally lost in a parallel fantasy world, maybe dead, who gives a crap how we look or if we need to buy new clothes later?? Give me the girls pulling off extra layers to cushion Ruby's head after her faint. Let them tear off a strip to bind a wound. Who's going to trade something like their jewelry to gain what they need? (Something we did get with Ruby's rose pendant, but it happened so fast and with no emotional punch it was just frustrating. Great idea, terrible execution.) Who's going to pick up new pieces while traipsing across the Ever After, perhaps visually signifying their acceptance of the place (something we could have gotten with Ren in Atlas)? Who's outfit gets scorched or torn or soiled because unlike Demon Slayer, there's no canonical reason for why these clothes should still be looking pristine after all they've been through?

Obviously RWBY doesn't have to do all of this, but it should do something to sell the idea that these are real people post-battle, traveling a hostile, tropical-esque land after they've been prepped for the ARCTIC. Keeping them exactly the same doesn't help me fall into the fantasy of watching RWBY, it just makes me go, "Oh, they probably want new outfits for Volume 10, so they're not bothering to change anything now :/" The viewer is already well aware that Volume 9 is a filler season that's struggling to be significant in the grand scheme of things. You don't want anything that's going to add to that feeling.

To use an old meme:

[aita-blorbos]

AITA for almost making someone die?

ok ik thats a lot, so ill try to start at the beginning. i (17nb) have been working with this one environmental organization since it was started when i was 12. ive devoted a lot of time to it n to seeing it grow, n when the group got big enough that we could rly expand to more places than just my country i was actually assigned to be in charge of running things here. i dont do it alone or anything bc i do have help from our real leader (40s m) n the people who run the branches in the 2 other countries we operate in, especially the one whos also been here since the beginning (30s nb), but its still a rly big responsibility n its important for me to b able to focus n not let other things distract me from my job.

a few months back, i thought it mite b nice to make my own account on the social media site where our group has the most presence so i could post abt personal things. i didnt mention my connections though (the stuff we do is kinda a bit illegal). it went rly well, n i ended up talking to this one person (20s f) who was rly nice, n we became friends p quick. the big problem was that she didnt like my group at all bc she was rly mad abt some of the stuff we'd done in her country, so there was kinda a conflict there. but some stuff happened, she ended up finding out who i rly was, n surprisingly she wasnt rly that mad at me? n she promised to keep it a secret, n it kinda went well from there other than it being kinda uncomfortable that she liked me n not what i do.

i mean, it did for a while. eventually though it became rly clear that talking to her was distracting me from my work, so my boss n coworker asked me to cut her off. n it hurt kinda a lot, but i did it. n thats where the story shouldve ended.

then i kinda fucked up. i was feeling rly weird bc of of smth that had just happened, n my boss n coworker weren't able 2 pick up the phone. my other coworker (??? i dont even kno this persons pronouns) isnt rly good w emotional stuff, but that was the last person i had to contact for support. n that person wasnt there either.

n i kno it was a mistake. i kno i shouldnt have done it. but i was kinda desperate for someone to talk to, n i ended up calling the friend id cut off even though i knew i wasnt supposed to. n she answered, n we talked. n i tried to go back to normal after that, but she started texting me again, n eventually i broke n answered her.

fast forward to today, n i just found out that my coworker had to try to kill my friend bc i couldnt control myself w her. the person who told me says it wasnt my fault, but if id just been able to resist the temptation to contact her again there wouldnt have been any messages for them to see in the first place. n on top of that, i kno that caring abt ppl too much makes them die, n i still let myself make that connection w her in the first place.

i mean, i think its p clear im the asshole here. basically the whole posts just been stuff i did wrong. but i kinda want to get confirmation, just so i dont have to keep thinking abt the thing the person who gave me the news said.

[cellspex]

Finally caught up on Miraculous LadyBug and...

I always knew I wasn't going to watch this show until there was evidence the Love Polygon was actually going to go somewhere, so when season 5 ended I finally caught up with the show. Except by "caught up", I mean I only watched a handful of 'plot relevant episodes' of seasons 2 and 3 and watch from 4 forwards. Some will say its cheating, and they're right. My view of the show is very different from people who have been following it for years episode by episode. And while I obviously can't tell what the entire fanbase is thinking, the gist I've gotten is that they are very irritated from feeling like theyve been jerked around by the writers in terms of certain character directions, how long its taken for Love Polygon to go anywhere definitive, and by the season 5 finale. So as someone who didnt have to wait through years of expectation and disappointment, i know my view of the series is going to be quite different, especially since I'm comparing the most recent seasons to what I barely remember about watching season 1 years ago and finding it very boring and repetitive, so I admit going in my standards were low. Compared to that, I actually had a lot of fun with seasons 4 and 5, impressed at continuous story threads and continuity, though it was by no means flawless, the bad guys feeling like actual intimidating threats sometimes and the fights having actual strategy, the big difference between this and its predecessor Sailor Moon, where there was no strategy whatsoever, attacks just hit or they didnt until the episode ended. Even knowing that the two leads would eventually get together and that I wouldnt have to wait endlessly for it made the silly romantic drama more fun. But there's a lot emotional burdens both leads have to bare and I think they're handled pretty well. Actually getting together mutually feels too slow and too fast if that makes sense, but I'm glad it happened finally and that they still don't know their identities, so there still a shoe to drop.

The drama around Chloe which seems to be a particular sore spot isn't all that interesting to me, I never liked her, and would have given anything for her to leave, and though there was a point she could have had a redemption, I don't know if her character would have had a point if she did, she just would have been one in the crowd, though I don't like her as the worlds flattest bully either. But the only thing as satisfying than a proper redemption arc is an absolute horror show getting their compuence, though for Chloe she'd need to spend an entire season cleaning toilets with her hair to feel like she got what she deserved, I know she has an awful mom, but at some point that stops being an excuse. But I understand more people feel like the writers are and making her too awful. But then the season 5 finale...

I was enjoying it for the bulk with a genuinely tense and exciting battle and conflict, and then the last 2 minutes happened. I can only guess they did what they did because they're leaving some shoes to drop for season 6, but its VERY unnearned and sells a lot of characters short including Adrien and Gabe. There's just a lot of... why? It honestly felt like an idealistic dream sequence and I honestly dont think its real, or it shouldnt be. But in general I was having fun, but it seems a lot of fanbase isnt anymore. But maybe I just havn't heard from enough of them. How do you feel about Miraculous Ladybug? #Miraculous Ladybug

[sugar-omi]

HI IM AN INSANE BAXSTAN AND SWIFTIE AND UR RYT MR PERFECTLY FINE HAS IMMENSE BAXMC POTENTIAL

while i think its not Unlikely for mc to forgive baxter within the span of the dlc, i DO think theyre not given enough options to feel complicated abt it. u pretty much have to decide how to feel from the start, and arent given a lot of room to change ur mind. For example, my mc Anne is a very forgiving person, especially with bax bc she understands his need to be entertaining & liked. HOWEVER she starts the dlc off thinking "ok if hes gonna be distant i can do that" but then when he jokes with xavier shes like "well im CONFUSED now and i need answers" and shes irritated, but also still likes him. after the bowling she hugs him and is still like confused, but again likes him still. by the time shes baking with him, shes both confused and endeared with him but is kinda harsh with him, even when hes apologizing at the wedding.

All this to say; its not UNREALISTIC mc would forgive in that timespan, its just the lack of complexity mc is or is not afforded that makes it feel too fast. additionally, while u do get to be mad, theres no real moderation for it, and no way to be like "this is a start, but it will take time to trust him fully again". so yeah, it feels rushed and personally i think it was rushed to be released due to whatever reasons (either not caring abt baxter or wanting to work on olnf, who knows)

anyway, i would go on about baxters dlc and its shortcomings for hours if given a chance so for now ill just call it here <3 signed, 🌸Anon

YES YES I AGREE

i do think there was a lotta effort n good stuff but into baxter, and i also havent replayed it since they updated some stuff so maybe its a bit better since release

but i do agree i think the emotional range is very limited its either "idc anymore", "im mad", "i look back fondly", "im pretty sad abt it", n all that stuff n its just pretty straight forward in whatever you choose

i think step 4 is a bit short? maybe?

BUT I ALSO THINK ITS PRETTY FLESHED OUT, now i haven't acted professional w baxter, i tried but i just didnt have time to go through w the route. but there are options!!! its just one and done i think so its kinda like, you cant express How conflicted you are

bc realistically id be so sad but i also hold a grudge so id be like "yeah you say you love me n all that n i GET IT but also im scared"

BUT I ALSO THINK ITS BC WE ARE PLAYING IT WITH SEVERAL HOURS??? like MC has 5 years to get through the emotions, but the time between him saying "see you never!!!" and "omg hi, i miss u but u dont need me but i miss u?!?!!?!" is like less than 5 minutes so.....

LITERALLY I WAS PLAYING IT THE FIRST TIME N I WAS LIKE "you bastard, fuck you. i hate you. stfu. YOURE SO CUTE. you ASSHOLE. i am going to KISS YOU. i want to slap you so fucking bad right now"

like pls i was freaking out during my first playthru

i think baxter's dlc was more focused on the "i am hurt" and "i have XYZ reasons for being like this" and it goes through all that and its less "lets work through your complex feelings/this is how you reacted when we met again bc you felt/feel very conflicted and now we will work thru it"

BAXTER DLC IS LITERALLY "I CAN FIX HIM" OMFG

but honestly i like the baxter dlc better than the derek dlc bc i HATED how "i can do everything by myself!!!!" derek was in step 2 and how sibling focused it was, i man i still loved it of course but i wish derek n mc had more 1 on 1 time

and then in step 4 it was like "i missed out on everything, i feel shitty n im sorry!" and mc just.... idk maybe i need to play it again but i was still mad derek ghosted for a whole step n then it was still very family focused, and while i loved that as well

i just wanted more derek by himself, i wanted to pamper him n love him n just yk

idk, all the dlc's are so good but i do think the forgiveness is very quick which makes sense bc they're making ol2 but man, i would love if it was just double the length or half that to just flesh it out some bc i wanted some sweet moments w the boys as well :(((

ANYWAY YES I DO AGREE ITS NOT UNREALISTIC

just unrealistic for ppl like me who take 2-3 years to get over wtf happened and another 2 to actually settle in my decision to forgive 😂😂 but even then, if i had 5 years to get over it i could prbly forgive him after a lot of crying and a bit of screaming LMAO

[ofdreamsanddoodles]

aster episode 8 made me. so mad. it was a little aggravating. like im gonna keep watching but it made my hopes kinda dwindle a little bit.

i rlly hated the like. generic story beats if you know what i mean?? like.

vash gets saved by humans who magically know to check for signs of him being a plant despite also them not knowing ahead of time that he is an independant, and also they dont trust him at first until he can do something for them, then suddenly he is a real person!

and then suddenly conflict emerges when they hear a very small partial conversation and then make assumptions despite vash showing no evidence over the years they knew him to this point of him being evil! and then suddenly they find that one piece of paper where he apologizes for his guilt and promises to atone and suddenly they believe hes good again!

and also what they did to knives.... i will never forgive this. why are they kinda building him up to have been evil from the start like come on please dont i really like knives arc and his character in general. dont do this to my evil guy....

it fills me with fear of how stampede is gonna go...

i think with knives it could still go either way, bc they aren't positioning him as like, an evil kid (before the fall at least), i don't necessarily like that he's more "inhuman" it kind of makes it seem like it's more natural he'd distrust humanity or whatever, but it's not like knives doesn't have a reason to be distrustful of humans if luida & brad are just like. locking vash up solely because he's not human. idk if the show will actually bring that up, though, because it is very much people do things for the sake of plot instead of their actions moving the plot if that makes sense

the generic storybeats are getting like. really blatant. i remember seeing a few people complain about rosa in episode 2, for flipflopping so fast on vash & everyone. first she loves him, then she's after his bounty, then suddenly they're all enjoying a beer together. it'd not as bad, but it does kind of feel like they only go back to the bar at the end so they can get to a "day is saved, lets party" end scene. like, the plant is still dying. it's natural to celebrate getting it back, but nothing actually gets solved for them.

none of luida's and brads reactions make sense to me though like luida's like "i've heard of independent plants" except... all information on them is classified??? so how would she??? even know?? it just feels like the show thinks we need this information quickly but a lot of this would probably be solved if they'd just... given us another episode for backstory. like it's really hard to not see it all as contrived, especially when brad's yelling about how vash is OBVIOUSLY working against them after they'd spent 5 years together, only to immediately do a 180 and ask Luida to apologize to vash for him. like, they could have just had him be more hurt than angry (they'd known each other for five years, he vouched for vash, & yet he was still keeping such a big secret, that's definitely a reasonable time to have complicated emotions) but instead they just went the most basic route possible. it's not a story, everyone's just getting herded around into the plot rolls they need to fulfill. it's frustrating!

[sinkableruby]

7, 12, 21, 22

gaming time

7. A series you’ve lost interest in?

oh actually uhhh. minecraft i cant play it anymore its either i try to focus on the building and i run out of materials and i have to go into caves which are prettier now but they're still caves and each trip is a trek or it feels like a trek in my mind and its like actual chores but like not in a fun animal crossing way in a shitty real life way and you have to KEEP GOING BACK and no matter where i put my house i am never satisfied with it and even if i go creative mode and do nice builds that gets old pretty quickly and man i just cant deal with it anymore.

also terraria is better lol

12. Do you prefer ‘blank slate’ main characters you make yourself or otherwise project onto, or characters with a set personality and backstory?

stealing dis's answer it probably depends on what works for the game yeah. i love roleplaying a whole lot but i also love seeing other ppls characters. that being said, i wish there were more games that were open in some way to a roleplaying kind of thing. so if you want a straight answer, i'd go with that

21. A boss you think is really cool

oh theres plenty of these yeah i always love like hidden bosses that are really hard like sans, malenia, etc. the challenge is fun and its always cool to be overwhelmed with the difficulty like oh shit playtimes over monster hunter is cool bosses: the game, basically (sometimes annoying bosses but shhh we dont talk about those). odogaron and nergigante from world are my absolute favorites. the sheer Energy odogaron has when attacking you is insane. it's so fast and always just throwing things out, it feels like a dance when you're fighting. very cool and nergigante... nergigante has lots of presentation, but also its spikes are so fun to break, its rewarding. fighting that arch tempered solo was so cool. and of course you have the divebomb:

i love this so much, the person in this video is wearing upgraded armor and fighting a lower level nerg because that move WILL kill you instantly, like always. and the hitbox is HUGE it's ridiculously big. i mean you can see how big it is in that video (that person isn't dodging it right most of the time). but the spectacle of it is so cool too. it roars and spreads its wings like that and you KNOW something big's coming. and you feel that note of panic every time, even when youre used to the fight. its so fun. maybe this appreciation of the unforgiving is why i like malenia (and that bullshit move she does) and sans too lol also shoutout to ftl's final boss (i am so bad at that game) and etg's dragun. also also, shoutout to touhou (all of it). also shoutout to elden ring's elden guy (that is definitely not what its called) big elebit. elden... whatever. it looks so cool :) and the fight is really fun to try no-hitting more emotional wise shoutout to omori's final boss. no spoilers but that one is so powerful and very well executed. omori has great bosses like that that impact you. another one i really like, maybe even more, is the one where this music plays:

it just screams hurt and betrayal (and the fight does too!) and you can just Feel it. and the aftermath of that fight is heartbreaking

22: A boss that was disappointing

oh starbound is perfect for this one. the game is so nice with its cosmetic and customization, and me and my friends were really enjoying it, but the enemies and encounters and bosses in this game were just. not. good. because you could overlevel (idr if level was actually a part of that game, but there was like higher level equipment and stuff) but the bosses werent like matched to your level or anything they just stayed the same level. so you could easily overlevel without knowing it (you might even think ur preparing a reasonable amount, certainly felt that way to us) and when the whole world is filled with nothing but shit thats easy to kill and a boss that's pathetic its like. ah. time to customize a bit more and then the fun is done. kinda kills the hype yk. if it had better fights that game would genuinely be awesome

[chainlxnk]

SLIP??????

The way slip got all stutter-y when he pulled out the surprise feast for peter was so cuuttteeee

i'm so glad that Mag is dead bc if he wasn't i'd want to murder his so bad

"if that isn't home, where is? I dont think i've answered that yet, it feels like I never will."

Slip is not very good at this whole comforting people thing is he lmao

"our emotions are mostly silly, that doesn't make them any less real" AAAAAAAAAAAAA

ahhhhhh Nureyev sounds so mad at Juno :(

"I couldn't think of a single goddamn thing worth saying"

MY HEARRRRTTTTTTT

the whispered argument is so funn-

"i do not want to see you anymore juno" wait huh wait wait wait wait no wait what

I am actually literally crying rn

"then it over between us, you hear me juno? over." He is being so fucking harsh

"look at this face! is this the face of a guy you'd want to see dead? cause I wouldn't be nearly as pretty dead. ...... Nureyev?"

"Unlesss....." "NO unless!"

"Rita. well thank goodness someone with a brain was involved in this travesty" god he's being so meannn

"is this making any sense? would you like me to go slower?" I love when Juno is a sarcastic ass. he's certainly gonna give as good as he gets

"Then it hit me like a mega heifer that i'd probably never get to see him do that again" I'm gonna fucking sob

"it would be my fault, and i didn't think I could live with that. SO i decided to die with it instead." FFS JUNO

RITA'S CACKLE OHMY GOD

her calling them out for bickering non-stop lmao

"nevermind i found the perfect thing!" *rock music starts blaring*

Juno going "ew no" when Rita asked if either of them had ever watched sports is so real

this whole zero-gravity fight thing sorta reminds me of that scene in the Arcane finale

"then I'm coming with you" "Juno-" "i'm coming with you"

"I just- i care about you. I worry about you." "You spend all your energy paddling to keep your head above water and you don't have any left to actually swim. But you can't paddle forever, and if you don't get to land eventually... you're gonna drown. I don't want that for you. So just know that whatever's on the other side of this door... I'll help you with it. I want to be a part of it. Because even if you never want to see me again... I want you to be okay." MOTHERFUCKER MY HEART

"Juno, get out of my way. Please." I'm gonna scream.

holy shit what oh my god

HOLYYY SHIITTTTTTTT

"I had no idea what he'd do. I only knew I'd be there to see it through" smth smth undying loyalty

they're killing me brutally

the way that brought tears to my eyes I was not okay "I do not want to see you anymore Juno" ILL JS DIE THEN??? everything went downhill so fast like can we slow down😭

[gasmeros]

ask game: Anger is also a trauma response and Dumbass (affectionate) pretty please

I genuinely love all your ideas

aaaa you're so sweet

so the first one is my own take on an atla fanfic trope ive seen a lot of, which is basically after the boiling rock in s3, zuko is super jittery around hakoda cuz he has dad trauma. but like, while i enjoy the hurt/comfort in most of these fics, im kinda bothered by the complete lack of anger/lashing out in most of them. it's part of fandom's tendency to woobify the whumpee so to speak. file em down the the perfect demure victim. dont like that much. SO. it's basically a fic where zuko feels unsafe around hakoda and it manifests in him being grumpy and angry and really not nice to hakoda at all, or anyone for that matter

this one is meant to be a oneshot for sure, and has been sitting at 926 words for over a year lol. content warnings for uhh, anger?? as a trauma response?? shouting.....? i guess child abuse, but that's just cw: zuko tbh. this one is all just plotting and should probably be in my mini wips document but i haven't moved it yet. so here's the climax plotting to enjoy

fun to have a break scene like they usually happen, hakoda shouts for some reason or moves too fast towards on of this kids and zuko thinks he's going to hurt them, and there's the usual fanfic response (zuko either flinches real fuckin bad at shouting, or moves to protect the kids from hakoda). things are different though, cuz instead of zuko's nervous protection or sudden panic over misunderstanding the situation, he just gets mad. like, mad mad. like, "i thought he was mad before but hooo boy i was wrong" mad. he yells at hakoda, and maybe hakoda's finally figured it out finally, so he doesn't get as defensive as he usually would. but the sibs havent quite gotten it yet, so everything dissolves into a huge fight between all the kids.

water sibs are pissed about how zuko's treating their dad, zuko maybe doesn't see his shift in behavior and denies it, aang brings up that no actually you're kinda really bad around him, and then toph jumps in like well maybe if hakoda wasnt a bossy bitch we wouldnt have problems, and it just keeps fuckin going. zuko feels called out and, in the throes of an angry trauma response, is gonna react with hostility, and that wont help anything. (aang? "you've been acting really weird." zuko "how would you know what's weird? you don't know me enough to know what's weird. maybe im just an angry fucking person.")

at some point hakoda tries to get everyone to chill, but believe it or not, him raising his voice to be heard isn't very helpful in this moment. so zuko responds by quite literally telling hakoda to fuck off, and the water sibs get even more defensive, and yeah that made it worse. great. eventually hakoda resorts to nudging one of the kids to try and calm things down, cuz he knows he cant do anything here. aang or suki? aang as avatar mediator is nice, but gotta see where everyone stands emotionally at this point.

eventually things end with zuko storming off, and maybe the implication that that might've been it for zuko being part of the group? obviously everyone's kinda reluctant when that idea is brought up, but katara and zuko's tempers are butting heads, so no one else really gets a say when they seem to come to the conclusion that it's over. and then zuko storms off, and aang is panicked cuz first of all emotions, but secondly firebending teacher??? toph goes after zuko and the others sit and have a chat about what just happened.

i have no idea if i wanna finish this one. while i stand by my sentiment that a lot of whump disregards anger as a valid fear response because it's not "cute", i dont know if i actually think zuko would feel unsafe around hakoda. like, it's soemthing you could definitely argue, but i dont know if i care enough to be the one arguing it agdjgsjf (also i feel kinda rude with this fic cuz it's quite literally me going "i dont like how anyone wrote this ._." and that's meeean)

ok dumbass (affectionate). you know that one scene in s3 dragon episode where aang just goes "i dont care what everyone says, you're pretty smart zuko" and zuko smiles for like a second before he figures out wtf aang just implied, and we get like 4 frames of him going >:0 as he slides out of frame? that scene killed me, but ALSO. what if i made it angsty

basically there's a sort of recurrent theme in atla where zuko gets called dumb in various ways. azula's everything, iroh's valid criticism of his lack of forethought, this scene. and im like, man that would build up if you heard that kinda shit your whole life, especially if there were some valid criticisms to make like the ones to zuko's rashness. so like. new to the gaang zuko not being really able to adapt to the friendly ribbing the gaang does when it comes to calling him dumb, zuko feeling basically bullied and therefore not close to the gaang at all, and the gaang eventually figuring out how he feels and going "oh shit wait no" and preceeding to maoe zuko feel even MORE mocked by making a hard u turn into genuine praise of his cleverness and general smarts. it ends happy i swear agfjhsbf (there is no ending atm)

this one is also a oneshot, 1,067 words. no real content warnings beyond yknow, dont read it if you dont like the premise i explained

this one i stopped because i have issues with executive dyfunction and also i had to go find references to every time zuko got called dumb in the show and i love to put off tasks. cuz of the executive dyfunction

"We could—" He stops before he really gets anywhere, shakes his head, and wishes they'd ignore him. "Nevermind."

But they've all got their eyes on him now, and he's the genius who picked the lull in the conversation to interrupt, so no one's exactly itching to move on. There's just the quiet, where everyone's hoping someone else will have something to say. And Zuko's gone and offered up his idiotic somethings.

"Got an idea, Sparky?" Toph asks.

"No, it’s dumb. Don't worry about it."

Sokka shrugs, and Zuko can't tell if it's because he really doesn't care or if that's just what he expected to hear. "We're fresh out of not dumb ideas, so..."

Right. Throw everything at a wall and see what sticks. Zuko suppresses a sigh. "My family has a vacation house on Ember Island. I know for a fact that no one will be there. Really, we purposefully avoid it. And it's nearby."

The group is silent, and Zuko wants to melt into the ground.

"I said it was stupid."

"No, no, hold on." Sokka's got a hand on his chin, stroking it in a weird mix of actually serious and playing it up. "That could work."

Zuko feels himself frowning. "You don't have to patronize me."

"No, really! It's the last place anyone would think to find us! It's so stupid, it might actually work!"

Great.

[castlebyersafterdark]

just seen some people say they didnt vibe with max's running up that hill scene and i think that reactions and people reacting quickly about media for socials is part of the cause of this new thing where people have so many divisive opinions. when i watch something new i am eyes and ears at full alert, taking in everything as it goes rather than trying to figure the plot out ahead of time, and i realised i would make a shit reactor because it's all happening internally. i dont want to express anything aloud as i watch because you would miss something; dialogue, music, emotional beats? even if stories aren't meant to be consumed in dead silence, i'm amazed at how quickly people form coherent opinions about characters a split second after they've done something instead of just seeing how everything plays out. i'm thinking about lucas 'betraying' the party in s4, people thinking he was genuinely hunting eddie instead of just seeing where his story went. in terms of byler, even now with the story unfinished i am so unable to conjecture real 'proof' or evidences of byler wholly because its open ended! i wont judge anyone until the story is complete.

i'm just amazed by these reactors because theyre usually just GA/nerds, and its fascinating to see them respond and react so quickly and so judgementally, i wonder if it's partially for views now instead of an honest reaction theyre sharing online.

Reaction videos are not something I watch, unless a very funny clip gets shared, I guess because I'm maybe feeling some of the same things you are - they don't feel sincere a lot of the time? I don't think there's anything wrong with all of them. I know a lot of people like watching them especially after they finish a show so they can go back and see what others are taking away which could be interesting. It depends on the reactor. So I can understand the appeal to an extent, but I don't personally like a lot of that format because like you said, the initial over the top gut reaction isn't that useful to me? I'm also mentally absorbing a show if I watch. I'll gasp or maybe cry a little at a scene, laugh, but mostly I'm just watching. The reactor videos are a performance, but then these folks use that performance to inform their opinion. It's a little too off the cuff for my personal taste.

I think for me, I just can't imagine ever filming myself watching something to showcase my emotions, especially if it's something I really care about? So I don't trust reactors as true fans. Because it's just not so authentic. You're aware of the content you're trying to capture. You overly emote, you pay more attention to the fact that you're recording. It's never completely a natural opinion or reaction. I'm not so much into livetweeting/liveblogging, either, so that's probably a factor. Sounds pretentious, but if I care about a movie or show, the first time I watch it I need to be present.

I know when season five drops, I'm turning off my phone from the moment it's available on netflix until I've finished watching what's out myself. That's my plan. Divisive is the key word. Social media moves fast and everyone wants to be the first to post something or see something or point something out. I'll be ok being a day late to things!!

It's why the main Byler fandom on tumblr isn't appealing to me anymore, because one thing I kept seeing is people getting pissy about folks 'pointing out stuff that's been talked about already too many times' or 'I already thought of this theory first and this user is copying me now' as if everyone watched and thinks at the same pace? As if people innately know every post that's ever been made on tumblr or added under the tag? Calm down. Yeah, if it's a rage bait opinion, or blatant plagiarism, but that's not what I'm talking about.

[seikkoh]

Welcome everyone to: my haikyuu phase is back (it was never a phase)

ALRIGHT SO NO SPOILERS FOR THE MOVIE RN

The movie should've been a whole season fr BUT it was still amazing.

I LOVED IT AHHHHHH I WANT TO WATCH IT AGAIN

The animation doesn't disappoint and god I swear it felt like only an episode, it went by so fast 😭 it was kinda rushed though but that's what I expected. Still, I was at the edge of my seats many times, the rallies were so good it felt like a real match. And ngl I got emotional at the end LMAO I felt the tears and I was wearing makeup so it got ruined but whatever, it was worth it.

I do wish it was more emotional, I mean I know we joke a lot about the monologues and the amount of flashbacks there are but I kind of missed them lol. Idk, the movie should've taken it easy and relax sometimes, gives us time to at least feel Hinata's and Kenma's feelings (especially Hinata's, he's the mc after all), but that's honestly my only complaint, and even so, I seriously enjoyed it. Hopefully the next movie lasts longer

It was sad the there weren't any freebies, or cardboards or posters though :(

BUT ANYWAY I NEED TO TALK ABOUT EACH SCENE SO SPOILERS INCOMING (ONLY FOR THE ANIME I DONT REMEMBER MUCH OF THE MANGA SO IM NOT GONNA TALK ABOUT THAT)

The rallies were amazing. Those in which the ball went from one side of court to the other non-stop??? Like, Nekoma was amazing with their saves and so was Karasuno.

And the Kenma and Kuroo flashbacks 😭😭😭 I LOVE THEM SO MUCH I wish I have a childhood friendship like them.

AND BOKUTO MY BOY He was amazing like always, cheering on Hinata and Tsuki. It was funny to see Bokuto, Tsuki and Kuroo "together" again, really missed their friendship/rivalry. AND THAT SCENE WHEN BOKUTO AND KUROO CHANGED THEIR HAIRSTYLES HAHAHBAHAHAHAH I LOVE THEM SM.

THE TSUKI AND YAMAGUCHI SCENE AAAAHHHHHHH YES YAMAGUCHI YOU GOT THIS‼️‼️‼️ Me and Tsuki are his cheer squad.

I wanted to hug Hinata so bad when Nekoma was going against him and were trying to stop his crazy jumps. He looked so frustrated and tired. That set from Kageyama mirrored the "take it easy" recieve from season 4 and it was what Hinata needed. A high set that gives you time to breathe, time to relax, time to think. And his "bam" jump was INCREDIBLE, and the way his eyes sparkled when he saw the set???? Ugh I love him so much. Loved all the Hinata and Kageyama scenes, their banter is always fun to see.

AND THE KENMA POV HOLY SHIT PLS MAKE MORE OF THOSE. That whole sequence had me at the edge of my sit, the way you could see Lev (or I think it was him? Idk) blocking, how Kenma clashed with him, then running after the ball, the receives, the other players, IT WAS BREATHETAKING I need one of these scenes but from Hinata's or Kageyama's pov. Both if possible 🙏🙏🙏

The way Kenma and Hinata were like "I don't want this to end" I DIDN'T WANT IT TO END EITHER THAT MOVIE SHOULD'VE BEEN ETERNAL.

THE POST CREDIT SCENE ‼️‼️‼️ HOSHIUMI IS HERE EVERYONE AAAAAAA AND THAT ALSO MEANS MY BOY SACHIRO IS NEXT IM SO READY FOR THE KAMOMEDAI MATCH

10/10 movie I wish it was longer and I may be biased but I don't care, I had a blast watching it.

Now, time to read the manga. I want to see the match in its full glory and see the monologues and flaskbacks.

I CANT WAIT FOR THE NEXT MOVIE